Always With You
by Riyukku Sayuri
Summary: As Kinomoto Sakura goes through grade school with an uncertain feeling, she later on finds that Syaoran leaves on her birthday and does not come back two years later - and that's when a cruel tragedy strikes. Please read and review! Arigato! -unfinished-
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

As Sakura Kinomoto sat in her seat quietly, she couldn't help but wonder exactly _why_ a certain pair of eyes would not leave the back of her head. She breathed in deep and tried to forget about it although it was difficult to focus. She sat there, feeling odd and a tad... anxious. She couldn't stop thinking of _him_...

"Kinomoto-chan, please come up and fix this problem," Kasai-sensei called.

Kasai-sensei was, as all of the 'older' senseis called her, the 'newbie' sensei who was always kind, loving, and caring to her students as well as others. She always treated everyone fairly and enjoyed treating them that way. She had also offered candy just to make some lazy students get up and work.

Sakura picked up the white chalk and began solving the problem, but then her mind went back to the pair of eyes that never left her. And after she solved the problem correctly, she began shuffling towards her seat when her beautiful green eyes met the solemn brown eyes. Sakura tried desperately to disconnect them, but it was just too difficult. She struggled and then felt something strange and indescribable.

"Wow. You aced it, Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo Daidouji squealed happily.

"Arigato, Tomoyo-chan," Sakura thanked.

As soon as Sakura's first period was over, she couldn't stop thinking about how stupid she felt when those pair of eyes wouldn't leave her. She felt a hot blush creep up her neck and unfold upon her cheeks and so she stuck her head into her locker and took a deep breath.

_Why am I thinking so stupidly? I'm not like this, and plus, Touya's probably waiting for me at home and doesn't want me to be late since it is my turn to set the table._

"Sakura?"

"Huh?"

"Are you... all right?"

"Fine."

"Oh... okay."

"Wait!!"

At that moment, Sakura poked her head out and asked very quietly, "Why are you here, Syaoran?"

Syaoran was quiet for a moment, then replied, "Because... I am."

"Oh. Anou... arigato for... for saving my life the many times you have saved me?" Sakura said to make small talk.

At that, Syaoran gave her an uneasy look and left without a word and when he did, he left Sakura confused and blank.


	2. Chapter 2: Confusion

"Sakura, get down here, NOW!!" Touya yelled.

"Coming, coming. Kero-chan, do nothing to my homework!"

"Okay. Sheesh."

"What kept you? Homework?"

"Yes, now where is Otou-san?"

"I don't know. He said he was out to buy groceries, but he's not back yet."

_Otou-san is out? He never goes out this late... what could be wrong? Did he forget to get something? Why am I worrying? Otou-san can take care of himself – I know that._

Just then Kinomoto Fujitaka came through the door with his hands full of healthy foods popping out of the hole of the bags.

"Otou-san! Where have you been?"

"Ah, Sakura-chan. Here, take this bag."

"Okay."

"Arigato. Now go wash up. Oh, I see you have set the table already. Did you plan on making dinner without ingredients?"

"No, Otou-san. Of course not. Sakura sets the table, you make the dinner, I was the dishes, and we all put them away."

"That's right. Now hurry and help me take these groceries out."

_Why is Otou-san asking such silly questions to Touya? Wait, Otou-san always asks Touya that so he knows who's in charge and... I'm the one who is asking such silly questions... or at least acting silly. But why? Why did I feel so odd whenever I saw Syaoran or knew he was staring at me? Why?_

Sakura could not think and decided to just put her silly feelings off until she finally felt ready to confront them. Right now she was facing a whole night of studying.

"Sakura, get up!!" Kero-chan yelled.

"Huh? What?"

"You completely passed out last night! You never even finished your homework!"

"WHAT?!"

"You didn't finish your homework!!"

"That's impossible! I did! I did! I did!"

"NO YOU DIDN'T!"

"Arigato for being such a kaijuu and not telling me to get up and do my homework! What am I going to do now? I have a lot of homework!"

"Oh, so you're calling me the kaijuu when really, you are!"

"I AM NOT!!"

_Uh-oh..._

"Sakura? Who are you screaming at?"

"Uh, no one Touya!"

"You sure?"

"Yes. Gomen, I did not mean to wake you. A certain _noise_ woke me..."

"Well you better not be getting all hyped up about today."

"Sumimasen? What's to get hyped up for?"

"IT'S A SATURDAY!!"

"Oh. Gomen, I forgot."

"Now get ready, Otou-san is taking us to a festival and brunch and Tomoyo-chan and Syaoran are coming. So hurry up because if you aren't out that door on time, we're leaving you! And this time I'm serious, Sakura!"

"I know! Okay?"

"Okay."


	3. Chapter 3: Determination

As Sakura skidded out the door on her pretty pink rollerblades, she slammed headfirst into Syaoran.

"Hey watch it!"

"Gomen. I did not see you."

"Sakura?"

"Syaoran?"

"Wasn't I supposed to meet you at... your... house?"

"Oh. Yeah. Heh. I was just... anou... going over to... anou... oh... um Tomoyo's. Yeah. I was just going over to check on her."

"Uh, right."

"Yeah. Anyway, ja ne Syaoran!"

"Oh. Ja ne..."

At that moment, he felt a sudden jolt of emotion in him. When he saw the beautiful girl he once so hated and now felt a simple friendship towards, his heart felt like shattering into pieces so small that they could never be touched. Dissolved, really.

_Gomen Sakura, it was my fault..._

"Sakura! Ohayo!"

"Ohayo Tomoyo!"

"You look pretty ready in your rollerblades and _school_ outfit!"

"Nani? School outfit? Oh no!! I must've picked out the wrong set of clothes! Be back later!"

"Okay! Hurry! Your time's almost up!"

_Oh great. Talk about time. It was all Syaoran's fault! He shouldn't have hesitated! Wait... actually... we both did. But... why? Great, I don't have time for tricks._

As Sakura rollerbladed back home, changed into a pretty set of pink and white, and met up with Tomoyo at Tomoyo's beautiful home, Sakura could only wonder why she kept thinking of that one person... Syaoran. This whole morning she was thinking of him in anger, in kindness, and even in friendship! She simply decided to put it off for now... as she did last night. But she wondered what made her pass out that night. She hadn't been high or even drank! She knew that Kinomoto Fujitaka – of course, her father – would never give her such rights, nor did she want any like those. But she kept thinking, _But why?_

Why was this so mysterious to her? Why did she hesitate to speak to Syaoran? Why didn't she fire her angry emotions at him? Why... why did she keep silent? She didn't understand. Of all of the things she _did_ do to Syaoran, why was she going to the things she _didn't_ do to him? She worried about this and would soon enough explode her heart out to Tomoyo. Meiling would probably keep tampering with her heart, but it was okay, she could manage with these nagging feelings or without – she was determined.


	4. Chapter 4: Teddy Bear

"Look at all of those beautiful teddy bears! Oh look Yukito!"

"Ah. Their very nice, aren't they?"

Touya had invited Tsukishiro Yukito along just for the fun of it; he didn't want to be going alone – being the only _older_ guy there.

_Teddy bears. Isn't that all she complains about? _Syaoran thought.

Then it hit him. Why was he so willing to think of her? Even to insult her in his mind. He stared at the beautiful girl with her beautiful shiny brown hair, her precious green eyes, and her charming smile. Why did he care? Really, why did he care?

"Come on, Syaoran! Look! Yukito and Touya are going to try to win a teddy bear for Sakura! Oh this festival is so fun! Come!" Tomoyo squealed, pulling Syaoran's sleeve.

"What? I bet you I can win it!"

_Have I completely lost my mind?! I don't think I even... I couldn't have just said I'd... no... I just didn't say I could win it for her. I just didn't!_

"Kinomoto-sama, did you just hear what Syaoran just said?!"

"Nani?"

"He said he'd win the bear for Sakura!!"

"Oh, really? Is that so, Syaoran?" Kinomoto Fujitaka questioned.

"Yes, Kinomoto-sama."

"Then go win it!"

"Okay..."

And after try, after try, Syaoran _finally_ won the bear for Sakura, but he wasn't proud of it...

_What did you plan to do? How could you have won it for her? Why not have won it for Meiling the 'fiancée'? ARGH! I can't stand these irritating feelings anymore!_

"Syaoran! Come! Otou-san is buying us sweets!" Sakura squealed joyfully.

"Sweets? Err...?"

"Oh, come on!" Sakura pleaded, trying to tug Syaoran over to the rest of the group.

"Oh all right. Geez."

"Arigato! Finally!"

_Finally? Is she trying to lure me into some kind of 'Sakura trap'? Or is this just out of respect and kindness? I... I WANT THIS MADNESS TO STOP!!_

As Sakura saw Syaoran walk slowly over, she suddenly felt sorry for him and her emotions took hold again as she tried to fight it away; tears burning in her eyes.

_Stop it! I have to stop thinking about him! He's not the main one in my life! I have a duty to fulfill – not to fall heartsick! No! I must stop thinking about him! He has to leave! No matter what! Whether it costs us our friendship or not!_

Suddenly Sakura looked at Syaoran once more. This time he gazed steadily back and his shimmering brown eyes caught her breath and she longed to take back what she had just thought.

_Okay, take it back; I still want our friendship there. I just... no heartsick love! No nonsense like that and period, period, period!_

Sakura couldn't believe what she was thinking. She wasn't like this; she knew that. But something deep within her just wanted the joy of being loved for. The happiness of it.


	5. Chapter 5: The Locket

After the festival, she met up with Tomoyo at the new shop in town square called The Kawaii Shop.

"Oh please can we go in, Tomoyo? Oh please?" Sakura begged.

"Why of course! Isn't that why it's called _The Kawaii Shop_? Not very original though."

"Oh whatever. Come on!"

"Nani? WHOA!!"

"Oh gosh, look at all of these kawaii toys!"

"Huh? Sakura, is that... Syaoran? Right over there?"

"Nani? Did you just say... Syaoran? Over... where?"

"Right there!"

Suddenly Sakura jolted out the door and ran over to Syaoran, yelling out his name in hope that he'd see her, yet she knew not why she did it... she simply had the urge to.

"Huh? S... S... Sakura?"

"Syaoran!"

Syaoran looked blankly as he saw the girl of his dreams run over to him, her eyes cheery and her spirit full of life.

_Why is she... why is she coming over here?_

"Sakura, what are you doing here?"

"Anou... I was just... checking out the new shop... over there..."

"Oh... okay."

"Why are you here?"

"To... to give you this..."

Then Syaoran opened up his backpack and lifted a small gold locket.

"Is this... for me?" Sakura gasped.

"Um... it was always meant... for you... even... before... I knew you."

"Oh."

"Do... you like it?"

"Hai. It's bi. Bi and just... so... amazing."

Syaoran looked at Sakura blankly. He was sure she thought of it as a beautiful gift. He knew it was... he knew that he wished Sakura would simply know that he loved her. Just even a tiny bit and that would make his heart blossom like a beautiful cherry blossom. He knew that was a stupid metaphor to use... but Sakura _did _mean cherry blossom. He just couldn't stand being away from her. He absolutely needed her. He treasured her... he loved her. He just didn't want to admit it. It was just too difficult. It was just too... true...


	6. Chapter 6: Events

"Oh Touya, look what Syaoran gave me!"

"Hmm... bi."

"I know, it's so bi and it looks like the rays of the sun. It's lovely!"

"Hmm... a friend of yours called. Meiling was it?"

"Meiling-chan! Oh! But... why... would she... call me?"

"Well anata better go check. I don't want her screaming her head off at me _again_."

"Well... atashi don't want to get in trouble for not yet making dinner."

"Oh go already!"

Sakura smiled gleefully as she skipped up to her room to find Kero munching away at some of her chips.

"Kero-chan! My chips! Anata are in big trouble!"

"Gomen Sakura. MMM... these chips are just too... MMM..."

"KERO!!"

"Sakura?"

_Oh no... It's Otou-san!_

"Yes, Otou-san?"

"Why are you screaming at... _Kero_?"

"Oh, nothing, Otou-san. Just overreacted... sort of."

"Okay, don't want you to be overreacting so much. Scares me."

"Okay."

As Sakura skidded out the door to meet Tomoyo and Meiling for a Sunday shopping spree, she couldn't help but wear the beautiful locket Syaoran gave her. She watched it glitter in the sunlight while keeping an eye on the sidewalk. She couldn't help but think what if Syaoran saw her wearing it. Would he gasp dramatically or not care? She just wanted to know and knew Tomoyo and Meiling would be all over it.

_Could he really see it by coincidence? I wish..._

"Hoeee!!"

Suddenly she saw Syaoran coming right that way and stopped herself immediately as Syaoran approached closer with every step forward.

"Sakura?"

"Uh... Syaoran, konnichiwa."

"Konnichiwa, Sakura. Why... are you here?"

"Um... shopping spree with Tomoyo and Meiling," Sakura replied flimsily.

Suddenly, Sakura lost balance and fell forward into Syaoran's arms and when she looked up, his face was blank and totally red.

"Gomen, I... I did not mean to... fall," Sakura apologized.

"Oh. That's alright. Ja ne, Sakura. I must go."

"Oh. Okay. Ja ne, Syaoran."

And Syaoran left, humming a quiet tune, he couldn't help but give a little bit of thought when he saw the golden locket around Sakura's neck.

_Should I tell her that my family has kept that for all generations and that Oka-san has passed it onto me for my keeping? Does she know that the locket is meant for my true love?_

"Er... I want him to go away. Whenever I see him, my heart beats furiously and I feel so... strange and awkward."

"What kept you, Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked.

"Oh, uh, I tripped," Sakura replied.

"Look! Syaoran is coming!" Meiling squealed, pointing out the window.

"Hoeee!!"

"Huh? Sakura, are you okay?" Tomoyo asked.

"Uh, yeah. Fine, just fine," Sakura replied.

"Okay then," Meiling said, grinning.

"Uh... Meiling, why is Syaoran coming?" Sakura asked.

"Didn't Tomoyo tell you?" Meiling replied.

"Nani?! Meiling, you never told me anything about Syaoran coming over!" Tomoyo gasped.

"Meiling... why is Syaoran coming?" Sakura asked.

"Because he has to borrow one of my textbooks!" Meiling answered.

"Okay..." Sakura mumbled.

Sakura fumbled around with her hands as she saw Syaoran come closer – she was in Tomoyo's room and desperately wanted to go home.

_Why does he have to come now? When I'm finally enjoying myself._

Then Sakura heard the doorbell ring and Meiling's cheery voice to greet the visitor.

"Konnichiwa Syaoran-kun!" Meiling and Tomoyo greeted.

"Konnichiwa. Sakura isn't here yet?" Syaoran said.

"Oh, Sakura's here. She's in Tomoyo's room," Meiling said gaily.

Syaoran walked into Tomoyo's beautiful room and found Sakura sitting on the plush bed, soft tears streaming down her face.

"Sakura-chan! Why are you crying?" he asked, rushing over to her side.

"N... no reason," Sakura replied, wiping away tears.

Syaoran watched as his heart cracked, the emotion pushing at his heart. He wanted to cry out and hold Sakura in his embrace, but if he did he knew he would be risking his friendship. He knew Sakura might not want to return his embrace. He longed to hold her in his arms and he longed for her to return it.

"Oh, Eriol-kun gave me this, but I want you to have it," Sakura sniffled, shuffling over towards her backpack.

She took out a beautiful gold pin with diamonds embedding its wings. It had 'Sakura wings' and in the center was a star. The exact star that Sakura's staff beheld.

"Arigato," he replied quietly.

"You... don't like it?" Sakura asked, her lower lip beginning to tremble.

"No, no, it's bi. I just... didn't expect you to return my gift," he replied, staring at the golden locket around Sakura's neck.

"Oh. But... why not?" Sakura asked.

"Because... no one returns my gifts and Eriol gave you this. Why give it to someone like me?" Syaoran asked, clutching the pin tightly in his hand.

"Because... I am one who returns gifts and I really do not have any use for this... but you might," Sakura replied.

"Arigato."

Sakura smiled and suddenly felt pain. She gave it out of love – not a friendship love. Out of a love that one has for the love of their life.

_How can he not know? Or... maybe he just is this way. Maybe his past has been rough and unsteady. I must be patient and soon enough can unlock his heart. Oh Syaoran, know that I forever love you..._

"Sakura, arigato. But... I must go. Oka-san has planned a study time for me. Ja ne," Syaoran said, his eyes not leaving his lover's.

"Ja... ne..." Sakura forced. She didn't want him going. She loved him!

As Sakura, Meiling, and Tomoyo shopped, Sakura's mind drifted off to Syaoran and the locket around her neck.

_Oh why is this happening to me? Syaoran, I love you! Know that... I will forever love you..._

Tears burned in her eyes as emotions were forced to their limits until _finally_ they came to a store Sakura could enjoy. It was called 'Japan's Exclusives' and everything in there was fashionably cute.

"Sakura, look! Do you think these rubber bands fit me?" Meiling asked.

"They look lovely! Are you going to buy them?"

"Anou... iie," she replied.

"Oh, okay. Why not?" Sakura asked.

"Because... we're just window shopping really," Meiling replied.

"Oh yeah."

After, they ran into Eriol who was shopping alone.

"Konnichiwa Eriol-kun!" they greeted.

"Konnichiwa! What brings you here?"

"Oh, just shopping," Sakura replied.

"Sakura, where is Syaoran?"

"Hoeee? Why ask me? Why not Meiling?" Sakura squealed nervously.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan. I had no idea. I totally forgot. Ja ne, now," Eriol said in his mysterious way.

"Uh, ja ne," they replied.

After Eriol was out of sight, they began to chatter.

"Meiling, do you think he's onto us?" Tomoyo asked.

"Tomoyo, what if he sees your video tapes?" Sakura asked.

"Sakura, what if he exposes you and Syaoran?" Meiling asked.

They questioned and questioned until finally the mall was closing at an early six.

"Uh, we're going back to Tomoyo's, right? Because I brought my sleeping bag and everything. I wasn't really sure on what we were to bring," Sakura admitted.

"Hai. We're going back to my house for a sleepover!" Tomoyo giggled giddily.

"Good. I told Otou-san that I was sleeping over and he planned for a night for just Touya and him. So, ya," Sakura replied in relief.

"Hehe, she looks so kawaii!" Tomoyo giggled.

"Huh?" Sakura moaned.

When Sakura finally opened her eyes, she saw Tomoyo and Meiling video taping her, Syaoran sitting in a far corner.

"Hoeee!! Why is Syaoran here?!" she yelled.

"Nani? Syaoran just came, silly," Tomoyo giggled.

"Oh," Sakura replied.

"Ohayo Sakura-chan," Syaoran said softly.

"Ohayo," Sakura replied.

She stared blankly at Syaoran, clutching her locket tightly. She could see his hands clutched together and wondered if something was in his hands or he was just clasping the air.

"Arigato Daidouji-sama," Sakura thanked when Mrs. Daidouji placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of her.

"Arigato," Meiling and Syaoran followed.

"Arigato Oka-san," Tomoyo replied, grinning.

"You're welcome," Mrs. Daidouji said, smiling.

They ate their oatmeal and then decided to take a little stroll over to Yukito's house.

"Sakura's winning!" Tomoyo pointed out, pedaling faster on a new bike her mother had bought for her. It was seemingly flawless, yet Sakura's rollerblades – though a bit old – were still in top condition and were as well seemingly flawless.

"Hey!!" Meiling shouted, pushing herself faster to beat Sakura. She was wearing stunning red rollerblades and tried to push herself farther _without_ falling.

Syaoran simply pedaled slowly and kept his eye on Sakura. He sat there, not wasting as much energy in pushing himself forward as Meiling did and did not waste his energy screaming out who was winning like Tomoyo was doing. He just went at an adequate pace where he could meet his rivalry and not have wasted much energy; just like what Sakura was doing.

He pedaled and pedaled and was gaining on Sakura but she was always faster. She glided past this and that and looked beautiful as she went past cherry trees in the local park. She glided and swirled, glided and swirled.

Then they _finally _reached Yukito's lovely home where cherry blossoms were falling from the cherry trees.

"Oh Sakura, knock already!" Tomoyo squealed in excitement.


	7. Chapter 7: Going Away

As Sakura woke up that morning, little did she know that someone would leave her... but she stayed unconscious in bed, not wanting to get up to face the particular school day. Months had passed and now it was finally her birthday. Her special day. She was finally turning thirteen. Just barely. And now, she felt all grown up. So... adult-like.

"Sakura-chan, take a look at this. It's a birthday gift," Touya said, shaking her awake.

"Gomen, I want to sleep," she murmured softly.

"Get up. It's from Syaoran," he said, noticing that was her casual weak spot.

"Huh?" she stifled, getting up quickly.

"Here," he said, gently placing the neatly wrapped box into her hands. Then he got up and left his sister alone with the box.

_Syaoran, why you?_ Sakura thought. She had no idea what was hidden in the beautiful box. Nor did she dare want to know.

Carefully, Sakura unwrapped the box from its pink tissue paper, careful to not let it rip. She carefully opened the silver box that contained a little card and something buried below some white tissue paper.

Sakura slowly drew the card from its envelope and read the card silently. She was afraid of what the card held, but dared to read.

_Dear Sakura,_

_Gomen, I am a coward for leaving. Call me that if you wish, but I can no longer bear this painful feeling. I... I know you love Yukito, so please, I must leave. It has been torture enough knowing that you would never love me back. And yes, Sakura, yes, I do love you. Happy birthday, Sakura-chan, and know that I will always love you. I am preparing myself for a flight home, yes, Hong Kong if you're wondering. I guess I should go back and get some training done. It may wipe you from my heart. I can no longer bear this. Sakura, I love you and I can't help it! Gomen if I'm ruining your birthday! Gomen! Oh Sakura, if you'd only love me back... but that's too late. I wish I had confessed to you earlier, but... I didn't and this... this crush on you has run too far for it to go away now. I will come back, I promise. If I don't find you here, I'll... I'll look elsewhere! Just promise me as a little token that you will stay here until I return. I will be leaving this morning that you have received my gift to you – a small heart-shaped picture of me. It fits in your locket. If you wish not to place it in, I understand. Of course you wouldn't, especially for being the idiot I am to leave the one I so love... well... ja ne, my love and have a happy birthday._

_-Li, Syaoran_

After reading the heartbreaking card, she emptied the box of its tissue paper contents. Underneath it, she found a tiny heart-shaped picture of Syaoran. One of his very best pictures. She gasped and picked it up carefully.

_Syaoran, no. I... I do love you! I don't love Yukito! I don't! I love you! Oh Syaoran, this is my entire fault... if only I wasn't so stubborn and saw that you loved me! Why didn't I see the clues? Oh Syaoran!_

She picked up the golden locket from her nightstand and carefully slipped the picture in, then clasped the locket around her neck and sighed. This was one birthday she would never forget – never.


	8. Chapter 8: Goodbyes

_Syaoran! Please! Don't have boarded the plane yet! Oh please! _Sakura wailed in her mind.

She skidded around the corner and was headed straight for the airport. She truly did not want Syaoran gone. She loved him, yet... it was... so hard to admit it. What if he died on that plane and she never admitted her love to him? He would die so unhappy! She couldn't let that happen! Never!

As she skated through, she found Syaoran, sitting in a small seat, his suitcase in hand. She could see the cold sadness in his eyes and wondered if he would even dare reply to her.

"Syaoran!" Sakura shouted through the madness.

"S... S... Sakura?" he hesitated, looking up through the crowd.

"Oh Syaoran! Why must you leave?" she wailed.

"Gomen, but... but I LOVE YOU!" he shouted.

"Oh Syaoran! Don't you see? I... I love you too! Please, don't go!" Sakura begged, tears streaming intensely down her face.

"Nani?!" he gasped.

"I love you! Don't leave! Please! Don't go! I need you! Every time I think of you leaving me, my heart shatters! I can't live without you! Oh, Syaoran, I love you!" she wailed, throwing herself around him.

"But Sakura, I... I can't. Gomen, gomen, gomen, I can't. I... this will only cause more pain between us. Don't. Please don't. I love you too much to have this pain of separation be stronger. Go now and you can save yourself. Leave me here, I'll die alone if I must. I... I don't want to be taking you away from what you have already. Ja ne, Sakura. Go," he replied stiffly.

"No! Syaoran! Don't do this!" she wailed, crying.

"Here, for you. One last gift before I see you in two years. Then I'll come back. You should have found someone by then," he said, pulling out a handmade teddy bear.

"Syaoran, for... me?" she sniffled. He nodded.

"Ja ne," he said.

"Wait!" she said, running towards him. "This is my gift of gratitude to you. I hope it'll mean more to you than to anyone else," she said softly. She stopped near him, breathed in deep, and placed a kiss on his lips ever so gently.

Syaoran stood there, shocked. _Why would she kiss someone like me? I... I should say thank you. Who knows, maybe this will be the only thing she'll ever give me._

"A... arigato. But, will you stay?" he asked.

"Yes. I will stay until you come back, for me. Ja ne, Syaoran. I... I love you," she whispered.

"Ja ne, my love," he whispered back, and the two departed. Sakura stayed at the airport in tears while Syaoran left on the plane, speechless. The two were no longer apart, really, but closer than ever... although they were physically apart.


	9. Chapter 9: Dear Diary

Sakura bought a new diary just to keep her most precious thoughts in there... even though she knew she was a little old for that.

_April 1, 2004_

_Dear Diary,_

_Oh, Syaoran is gone! He has departed from me. He departed from me because... because he loves me! I... I can't explain why I love him, but... I do. If Touya ever found out, he'd be so angry. I think Tomoyo-chan knew all along that Syaoran loved me, but dared not to say a word. I can't control myself. He, he sacrificed his own wants to... to fulfill mine. He kept telling me gomen and all and now... we have said ja ne and all is over. I wish he would just come back. I love him too much. Too dearly. I... I need him. Oh, what am I to do?!_

_Kinomoto, Sakura_

After filling in her diary, she snapped the lock shut and stuffed it away in her bureau. Then she flopped down on her bed and began to cry bitterly, thinking only of Syaoran. Syaoran, Syaoran, Syaoran. He truly was her true love! She finally figured it out now... that was why her heart was pierced when she read her card. When he said everything. It was... he did... but... how? It was so fast, so sudden, so... irregular.

_April 1, 2004_

_Today I just left the girl of my dreams. The one I so love. She should save herself before I fill it up with nothing but hot air. I... I just love her, yet now I leave her. How can this be love, someone may ask me. She... she should save herself, not try to spend her entire life with me – a descendant of Clow Reed who would probably take her for granted. She doesn't need me. But... she admitted her love to me, and that kiss. It can not be forgotten – that's a fact. I know that for sure, but... she may forget it. May find someone else. If I am forgotten, she will take our friendship away, but... but she deserves better! I... I am nothing._

_-Li, Syaoran_

After writing in his journal, he tucked the pen and book away. He then could only think of Sakura. Her sweet smile, her charming laugh, and her ever-present voice. But now that was all gone and the emerald eyes he so wanted to gaze at were gone as well. Everything was gone about her. Everything – there was not a single thing that he could feel, see, or smell. It was... all gone. He felt so ashamed of leaving her at the airport but knew that she deserved better. Someone who had it all. What she wanted, yet little did he know that all she wanted was him. Nothing more, nothing less.


	10. Chapter 10: Returning

As the days passed, they became months, then finally two years and Syaoran's feelings still had not washed clear off, but he knew he promised Sakura to return, yet he was not sure if she was still waiting for him as she had promised. If she hadn't, it was okay. She had found a new life; one without him.

"Konnichiwa, is Kinomoto Sakura there?"

"May I ask who is calling?"

"Li Syaoran."

"Ah, Syaoran! My daughter has been waiting. Please hold."

"Okay."

"Konnichiwa?"

"S... Sa... Sakura," Syaoran finally muffled out.

"May I ask who is calling?" the tender voice chirped.

"S... Syaoran," he replied stiffly.

"Syaoran? Syaoran Li?" she gasped.

"Aye," he replied quietly.

"SYAORAN! Oh Syaoran! Meet me at the park now!" Sakura squealed.

"Uh, okay?" he replied quietly.

He rode his new bicycle out to meet his old friend and was surprised she even remembered him. Syaoran could only think that she had found herself a boyfriend and no longer loved Syaoran Li, but someone else.

"Sakura!" he shouted. Sakura and himself were quite surprised by his greeting.

"Syaoran!" she shouted back, jumping into his open arms. Tears came streaming down her face as he wiped them away, setting her down on the ground once more.

"I thought you'd never come back. Especially since today is my fifteenth birthday. Remember two years ago? Your promise?" she sniffled.

"Aye. I remember it," he replied.

"Have you... wiped me away?" she asked nervously.

"I... I tried. I... I couldn't," he admitted.

"This is unbelievable for me to say, but... but I'm glad you couldn't," she replied, her eyes shining brilliantly.

"Nani? Glad?" he gasped.

"Because I wanted... wanted to share this with you for my fifteenth birthday," she whispered quietly into his ear. She carefully had their eyes connected and gave him the exact kiss they shared two years ago.

After their shared kiss, Syaoran looked at her blankly. He saw the tender smile he so longed to see – the one that he wanted to keep forever. Now he had it forever.

"Why me?" he asked.

"Oh Syaoran, must you ask that? Gomen for saying this, but, you've always been the one I've loved. I've missed you – I wanted to write, but, I knew you wouldn't write back because you were always trying to wipe me from your memories. But Syaoran, my love, that's in the past. I don't want to say ja ne to you any longer. I want you to love me, because I have always loved you, even though you didn't want to love me," she replied softly.

"Gomen, this must –" he began, but Sakura placed her finger at his lips.

"Shhh, there is no need to say anything more. Just enjoy the night, this time we can spend together. This night that I have longed for. This night that you have longed for," she whispered. Then they stayed in their exact position, sharing the kiss they did two years ago. The one they longed for – their first.

"So, Sakura, how was seeing Syaoran again?" Fujitaka Kinomoto asked.

"Why must you know, Otou-san?" Sakura giggled giddily.

"Oh, so a father cannot know what his daughter has been doing with an old friend now? Gomen for asking, but you've been acting strangely since it all happened," he replied.

"Aye, Sakura. Otou-san is right. What happened? Two years ago you were crying at the airport and now you're all over him. Is something wrong?" Touya reasoned.

"All we did was go to the park. You wouldn't understand... it's not the same," she sighed dreamily.

"Not the same, eh? I hear Syaoran's a descendant of this so-called 'Clow Reed'. Is that correct?" Fujitaka said.

"It's not 'so-called' as you say! Clow Reed is real! I helped capture the cards!" she yelled, her heart beating terribly fast.

"You were involved?" Touya asked.

"Yes!" she snapped.

"Oh. We had no idea," Fujitaka said in a calming voice.

"Why do you want to know what I did with Syaoran anyways, and answer me this time!" she said sternly.

"Because... we think that you may love him," Fujitaka said quietly, eyeing the golden locket around her neck.

"I... I do, okay?! Now leave me alone!" she spurted, rushing up to her room.

"She loves him? Otou-san, Sakura is too young for love!" Touya replied sharply.

"Touya, let the girl be in love. Syaoran may be her only chance of surviving the life we're giving her. You know high school's hard, so just let her be. She's found her true love, let her be happy. Don't take that away from her," he said softly to his son.

"Gomen Otou-san, I just don't want her to get hurt," Touya replied.

As the night passed, Sakura dreamt of Syaoran. How she loved him. She needed him. This was the day she had so longed for. She could simply remember her fourteenth birthday alone; even with Tomoyo and Meiling; she was still desperately alone... without the one she so loved. She knew Yukito sensed it, but she fell forward, only thinking of Syaoran – her love.

"Ohayo, Sakura," Touya said softly, placing a gentle kiss on Sakura's cheek. He could remember how he used to do that whenever she was ill.

"Touya? Ohayo," Sakura muffled back. All Touya could see was his beautiful sister who was now deeply in love.

"Anou... come with me. Otou-san has made up for his late arrival for your birthday," Touya said gently and quietly.

"Really? What is it?" Sakura questioned, quickly getting up.

"You'll see... you may find it sort of... _kawaii_ in its own way," he replied softly.

"Kawaii? I must see for myself!" Sakura sighed deeply.

Touya blindfolded her and lead her by the hand down the stairs to their basement. There he quietly let go of her hand.

"I should leave you with your gift now," he said quietly. Then he left her, still blindfolded.

"But Touya! How do I take off this fold!" she yelled, but he did not reply. He was no longer in the room.

"Here," a deep voice went. Off came the blindfold and Sakura gasped as she stood there, not believing what she was seeing.

"_You_ are my gift?" she gasped excitedly.

"Yes," came the reply.

"Oh my goodness! I love you!" Sakura cried, leaping into _Syaoran's _arms.

Syaoran, that one person who held every secret Sakura knew about herself. She was amazed at how quickly she had fallen in love with this mysterious young man.

"I love you," he said quietly, then pressed his lips against Sakura's soft right cheek, making her blush uncontrollably.

They stayed in each other's arms for quite awhile before letting go, yet deep inside Sakura wished it had always been this way. She wondered if Syaoran was her true love – the one where they would never be inseparable. She somehow felt that she and Syaoran would forever be together – nothing would keep them apart. Nothing...


	11. Chapter 11: True Love

"Tomoyo, you'll never believe me if I told you this!" Sakura squealed gaily.

"Gomen, but exactly _what_ do you mean?" she questioned.

"Well... I think I've found my true love," Sakura sighed dreamily.

"No, that's impossible! Syaoran loves you! Did you not know?" Tomoyo gasped.

"That's the best part, Tomoyo! I'm in love with him!" Sakura squealed.

"He's here?!"

"Aye! He's here!"

After Tomoyo, Meiling, and Sakura had shared this secret, Sakura rushed over to the Li household to give Syaoran one final kiss for rest of the day.

"Syaoran, I know this may not mean much to you, but I hope this reminds you somewhat of the days before," Sakura said, then gently pressed her lips against his, but this time, there was something special. The locket that Syaoran had gave Sakura began glowing, and the pin that Sakura had gave Syaoran began glowing as well.

The objects glowed radiantly as Syaoran lifted Sakura into his arms and kissed her warmly on the cheek. The couple would never forget this day. Never.

After that day, Sakura and Syaoran still stayed shy yet in love. No more adventures for them; just the fact that they were deeply in love. Nothing could stop them – absolutely nothing.

"Oh Syaoran, the crisp air of spring surely reminds me of the day you went away. The day I no longer could see you. I love you so much," Sakura said, clinging onto Syaoran's left arm.

"I've missed you too," he said quietly, kissing Sakura's forehead.

"Sakura-chan, ohayo!" Meiling greeted in a cheery voice.

"Ohayo," Sakura replied quietly.

"Syaoran told me that... his true love has fallen right back for him. I wish he would have loved me, but... he didn't," Meiling sighed.

"Oh. Because I am your friend, I am telling you who he has fallen for," Sakura said steadily. She was still afraid of what Meiling might go and say.

"Who? Please tell me!" Meiling begged.

"...Me..." Sakura replied quietly.

"Who? _Me_?" Meiling questioned confusedly.

"No, not you... _me_..." she replied.

"So... you're the... the one," Meiling said quietly, casting her head in downcast.

"Gomen, I am so... I am so sorry," Sakura apologized gently, hoping Meiling would feel better eventually.

"No, no. I should be apologizing. I just... I guess I just loved him too much," Meiling sighed. "I knew someday he would fall _out of love_ with me... I just didn't want to admit it. I knew he never really agreed to that fiancée thing, but... but I only wished. I just... I will always be in love with him – even if he loves you."

"Meiling..." Sakura began.

"No, don't. You've said enough apologies. I don't deserve a friend like you," Meiling sighed.

This left Sakura silent yet bewildered. How could Meiling say something like that? She had just revealed to Sakura another side of her. A side that frightened Sakura since her basic – usual – side was always cheery and loving. But she decided to leave this 'new' side of Meiling to grow on its own, she didn't want to interfere with Meiling's growing maturity


	12. Chapter 12: Surprises

That morning, when Sakura woke up, she received a phone call from Syaoran. She picked it up and Syaoran had asked her to meet her at the local mall.

"Sakura, do you know where's Meiling?" Syaoran asked worriedly.

"No, why?" Sakura asked, fear filling her eyes.

"Because Meiling never came home," Syaoran replied in a troubled voice.

"Never came home?! But that's impossible! When I left she was opening the door!" Sakura gasped in shock. How could Meiling not have gone home? She walked her home and then left.

"Do you know why she may have run off?" Syaoran asked.

"I... I might," Sakura whispered quietly.

"You do or you don't?" Syaoran questioned.

"Well, when she found out you loved me, there was this... this new side of her," Sakura replied.

"New side?"

"Aye. New side. It wasn't... like her."

"Well, Meiling is a mysterious person. A lot is not known about her, even if she's your cousin," Syaoran said reassuringly. Then he kissed Sakura on the forehead and began running towards the door of the mall.

"Wait! Syaoran!" Sakura yelled, running after him.

"Nani?" he asked, stopping to catch his breath from the unexpected call.

"I'm coming with you! It must be my fault that Meiling is gone! She was shocked when she found out I was the one you loved most!" Sakura lunged out sharply.

"But Sakura –" Syaoran began, but she quickly placed her index finger to his lips. "There will be no 'buts' if you want to save Meiling from whatever is happening to her," Sakura said quietly. Syaoran nodded and they rushed out off the door.

"Meiling!" they yelled and shouted. And after an hour of calling for Meiling, they gave up. But as they were walking, they found Meiling weeping behind a bush in the local park.

"Meiling-chan!" Sakura yelled, running towards Meiling.

"Sa... Sakura?" she sniffled.

"Meiling! We were looking all over you! Everyone was so worried!" Sakura gasped, breathing deeply for air.

"Gomen. Just kill me now," Meiling said.

"NANI?! Meiling, how can you say that?!" Sakura gasped.

"Because I have no love!" Meiling shouted.

"No love? Meiling, I love you!" Syaoran said, rushing up towards his downcast cousin.

"No! You love Sakura! I understand, she's more beautiful, sweeter, everything better than me!" Meiling cried, tears streaming down her face.

"Meiling-chan, maybe I love Sakura, but you will always have a special place in my heart," he said, bending down to kiss her forehead.

And for that split second, Meiling realized all along that he did love her. She just never saw it. Otherwise he would never have kissed her forehead. He wouldn't even have cared about her disappearance. And for that second, she also saw Sakura as a future cousin. And Tomoyo too. She wouldn't be alone. Never.

"Gomen if I scared you," Meiling breathed.

"Oh no need for apologies. Just knowing you're safe makes me happy; makes the both of us happy, right Sakura?" Syaoran said.

"Aye," Sakura replied.

"Now come on. You need your rest. A lot of rest," Syaoran said.

"Syaoran..." Meiling said quietly.

"Huh?"

"Syaoran... do you... think that I'll ever find someone who'll love me?" she asked quietly.

"Aye. You will. Love is an eternity and you are just finding your way to it," he said softly.

Meiling looked up at him with sorrowful and solemn eyes. Her heart was pierced and her spirit was crushed. Syaoran could not truly blame her for running away. Her heart was fading and her spirit and soul were thrown in turmoil. He only wished someone would love her – anyone.

_Ring, ring, ring._

"Sakura-chan! Wake up!" Kero called, nudging Sakura's arm.

"Nani? Aye?" Sakura moaned.

"It's Syaoran," Kero said.

"Syaoran?! Give it to me!" Sakura said, snatching her metallic pink cell phone out of Kero's tiny clutches.

"Konnichiwa, Syaoran?" Sakura answered.

"Gomen, but this is not Syaoran, but Yelan-sama," the voice went.

"Oh, konnichiwa Yelan-sama," Sakura greeted blankly. "But, Yelan-sama, why have you called?"

"Because there has been an incident," Yelan said, beginning to sob.

"Is Syaoran dead?!" Sakura screamed in fear.

"No, no. Not dead, but he's been hit badly by a car and... and apparently he's in a critical coma," she sobbed uncontrollably.

"COMA?! Yelan-sama, where is Syaoran now?" Sakura cried, tears forming quickly in her eyes.

"The hospital. Oh Sakura, I don't know what happened. He was walking and then... then the car hit him! Oh Sakura!" Yelan wailed. "Yelan-sama, I'm coming over right this minute!"

_Syaoran, what has happened?! _Sakura's mind wailed.

She quickly changed, brushed her teeth, and left, trying to push down the tangled hairs while strapping on her padding.

She quickly searched through her keychain and found the Li household's key. Quickly she unlocked the door and found Yelan weeping at her dining table.

"Yelan-sama!" Sakura yelled, taking off her rollerblades and running towards Yelan.

"Oh Sakura-chan! Syaoran! They say he may die! Oh Sakura!" she cried, tears streaming violently down her cheeks.

"NANI?! Die?! Oh Yelan-sama, we must go _now_! Something may help him – I just know it!" Sakura said, an idea quickly springing to mind.

"Oh, you rollerblade on ahead. I'll drive when I've collected... m... myself," she sobbed.

"Aye," Sakura replied.

She strapped on her rollerblades and quickly skidded out of the door, unhappy that she had to leave Yelan-sama alone.

"I am here to see Li, Syaoran," Sakura said to the nurse at the front desk.

"Li, Syaoran? The one in the coma?" she questioned.

"Aye," Sakura replied.

"Are you just a passerby or what?" she wanted to know.

"His girlfriend," she said solemnly.

"Ah, right this way," the nurse said, walking down the hall with Sakura skidding beside her.

When they got there, Sakura's heart pounded frantically. She remembered the card they last captured together... she remembered everything so brilliantly.

"Here you go," she said, allowing Sakura into the room.

"Arigato," Sakura replied quietly.

She strolled up towards the bed where she saw Syaoran there, so pale... so... so... dead-looking.

"Oh Syaoran, what have those monsters done to you?" Sakura wailed, tears dripping from her eyes and falling onto Syaoran's pale face.

"This is for you," Sakura said.

Just as she was about to kiss Syaoran, Yelan arrived, watching the whole splendor happen. Sakura had placed the kiss on Syaoran, tears falling violently from her eyes, and suddenly she remembered, that the last card they had captured was still in her backpack – the backpack she had put on in case she needed something.

She summoned the card and commanded, "Grant me the power to tell Syaoran that I love him."

Instantly the card flew around Syaoran and disappeared, then it reappeared and the card became its card form, falling to the floor.

She looked at Syaoran and suddenly, very slowly, the paleness started to fade from his face.

Then Sakura noticed that his eyes were gradually opening and his face was no longer a deathly pale but a healthy color. A natural one – no longer looking as if he was dead.

"S... Sakura?" he whispered.

"Oh Syaoran!" Sakura cried, hugging him gently.

"I... I don't have much strength, so I am afraid the magic of this will soon wipe clear and I... I will be left unconscious once again," he said weakly.

"No, Syaoran please! I love you!" Sakura cried.

"Oh, those three words. I've been longing to hear them. I... I love... y... you," he finished weakly, then fell unconscious again. Sakura fell to the floor, weeping beside her star staff. "Oh Syaoran, don't die... please. If you must die, I'll die with you!" Sakura wailed.

"Oh Sakura," Yelan whispered quietly.

"Syaoran!" Sakura wailed continuously. "Oh Syaoran, if only the Clow Card was more powerful... to keep you alive! Oh Syaoran! Don't die! Please! Don't die!"


	13. Chapter 13: Curses

As the days went on, Syaoran was released from his cursed coma, yet remained weak and the doctors said he was too vulnerable to death to actually regain health. Sakura stayed long nights and tried to cut off a lot of school and brought her work to the hospital just to share Syaoran's 'supposedly' last moments of life. She wasn't taking any chances, so she stayed by him day and night. She read to him her most treasured thoughts of him, but it seemed that he was too weak to hear.

"Ohayo Syaoran," Sakura said quietly, kissing him gently on the cheek.

"Ohayo," he whispered weakly, glancing at Sakura. "What have you brought to read to me today?"

"A... a story... about a girl and a... a boy," she said quietly, but really, it was all about them.

"Arigato," he whispered. That meant he was ready. So she flipped open the diary and began reading with emotions like she had never expressed before.

"They were rivals at first... tough rivals and... and the boy was strong and powerful, yet shy. He secretly loved this girl – the girl he was up against. She as well loved him back, but she didn't admit it till the end and they were both to stubborn-headed," she read.

She read on and on until she saw that Syaoran was no longer listening. She stood up, stretched, and got out her homework. She did it until ten and decided to stroll on home.

As Sakura was walking home in grief, she was suddenly jerked into the bushes to her left side without knowing what was going on, her things being tossed around with her.

"Hoeee! Let me go! Let me go!" she screamed.

"No one rejects Kenichi Akira!" a dark voice cackled.

"YOU?! Let me go! Kero-chan!" Sakura yelled.

"Nani? Sakura!" Kero gasped, escaping from Sakura's backpack and changing into his true form.

"Away from her!" he growled.

"Is this some cheap-ass imitation? Huh, Sakura?" two of Kenichi's thugs cackled.

"You think I'm fake? Then let's see me stomp on you!" Kero snarled, flying to the sky.

"WHA??" they went when Kero accelerated to the sky, a powerful gust slamming down to the ground.

He growled and came lurching down, stomping on Kenichi's foot. He tossed his head and his eyes became sharp and a deep red.

"AHHH!" they yelled, running from Kero with Kenichi on their backs.

"Are you okay Sakura-chan?" Kero asked, returning to his plush toy form.

"Aye. But... you weren't in my backpack when I last checked," Sakura said.

"No, I wasn't, but Clow-san summoned me to your rescue," he said nobly.

"Arigato for coming to my rescue," she said, hugging Kero closely.

The next day, in her room, she decided to try to bring Syaoran's breath back. She could no longer stand the fact that he was ill and could not share happiness with her but grief.

"The key that holds the power of darkness. Reveal your true form to me. I, Sakura, commands thee under convent. Release!" she chanted, summoning her sealing wand.

"The Love, I wish that you grant me this one wish using as much power as you can possibly use," she commanded. "Grant me the power to tell Syaoran that I love him, and try to regain his health using our love."

She knew it couldn't totally be possible, but she would try – for Syaoran. This time it wasn't her life at stake, it was his.

The love flew around her and suddenly, mystically, disappeared. She was sure it disappeared to Syaoran. She only hoped that it would work. She wished it would – she longed that it would.

And at that very second, it returned and became its card form. Sakura stared blankly and knew that the message had gotten through, but... The Love could not allow Syaoran to regain health even though it tried.

"You have not disobeyed me, do not be frightened my card," she whispered softly. She stared at the ceiling, trying to blink away her tears, but they began falling, rolling down her cheeks and down her neck. She couldn't help it, Syaoran was dying.

As Sakura slept that night, she suddenly dreamed something she never imagined of dreaming – something that healed the wound tearing at her heart.

"Oh Sakura, I thought this day would never come," Syaoran sighed.

"Oh Syaoran, how I've longed for this day. And now to share this day with you," Sakura smiled, beautiful in her wedding dress.

_What?! Syaoran?! _Sakura thought, awaking from her dream.

_Syaoran. He's okay? Or... or was I merely dreaming? Hoeee... I wish this would just end! Oh Syaoran... oh my Syaoran..._


	14. Chapter 14: Kodamayuki

The very next day, Sakura awoke to find out that Syaoran had regained very little health, but wasted it mouthing the words, "I love you too, Sakura-chan" as a nurse was walking by. And as the months passed, there was no more heard from Syaoran. He was drawing near his destiny and it would soon seal their fates.

"Sakura-chan, I just got word that Syaoran is fighting the coma! His strength is limited now, and no one is sure if he can survive or not," Tomoyo said one day at the Kinomoto's breakfast table.

"What?! Fighting the coma? No, they said he'd be fine! They did!" Sakura shouted in disbelief.

"Gomen Sakura, but that is what they said," Touya replied.

"No, no, they couldn't have! They just couldn't! Clow-san can't do this!" Sakura screamed, running out the door in tears.

_Clow-san I hate you! Stay away from me! Stay away from Syaoran-kun! If you dare, I will truly kill myself and burn the cards, releasing them! You have caused enough trouble to Syaoran and me! Now leave me! Save him! Don't you dare! _Sakura's mind wailed uncontrollably.

As she was running, she could just see Eriol strolling towards the park. She huffed as she stood there, amazed that he was so calm and his face so cheery when Syaoran was dying in the hospital ahead of him. Yes, he had gotten Syaoran jealous many times in their brief childhood, but this was no time to be playing innocent. It was a tragic time, but Sakura decided to keep it away until after Syaoran's fate was sealed... weather it was death or survival.

"Li, Syaoran please," Sakura asked kindly.

"Oh, and may I verify who you are? If you are jotted on this list, you may go see him. If not, please leave until visiting hours," the doctor said kindly, her eyes warm. It made Sakura want to vomit. How could someone act so giddy and happy when someone was dying?

"Kinomoto Sakura," she verified.

"Kinomoto Sakura, his girlfriend?" she asked.

"Aye," she said.

"Hm... let me just check you to this photo. Ah, aye, you are Kinomoto Sakura. You know the way to his room, right?"

"Aye."

And as Sakura walked to Syaoran's room, she could feel herself tremble, her heart wanting to crumble. And at that moment, she stuffed her hand into her pocket and found kodamayuki. The beautiful kodamayuki was not yet melted.

_Isn't powdered snow – the kodamayuki – supposed to have melted by now? How strange..._

"Yelan-san! W... Where is Syaoran?!" Sakura gasped.

"Oh they've taken him away... my Syaoran..." she cried.

"Yelan-san, if you just tell me where he is, I'm sure I can get to him!" Sakura said, trying to snap Yelan out of the confusion beholding her.

"You can't. You can't. My Sakura, they've taken him for tests. They say they need tests to assure his fate. If the tests are negative they will let him die in his sleep, but if the tests are positive, then they don't need to do anything. They just let him sleep until he gains consciousness himself," Yelan explained, her eyes puffy and pink.

"So, this is their plan... to either let him die or stay alive. Either way, they're taking the cowardly way out! If they won't do anything, I will!" Sakura declared, grasping her key.

_I'm sure that I can somewhere summon a card and command it to somehow save Syaoran – it's possible, I am quite sure._

"The key that holds the power of darkness. Reveal your true form to me. I, Sakura, commands thee under convent. Release!" she chanted in a dark section of the park.

"The Change, come to me and obey my command! Switch my mind with Syaoran's!" Sakura commanded. She knew it would be a dangerous and risky thing to do, knowing that if Syaoran would die that very twenty-four hours, she too would die along with his body, his mind contained within her own.

The Change stayed in its spot, not doing a thing. Apparently it could not switch minds with them, which meant there was no other way for Sakura. She longed that there could be a way to save Syaoran. She hoped that life itself could change the outcome. She was mostly terrified of what Clow Reed had done.

"Clow card, return," she whispered, and The Change returned to its card form.

"Gomen Syaoran, I... I've tried. I'm... I'm sorry... I... my love for you... is too weak," Sakura said, falling to the lush floor below her, her body shaken and sore.

"Sakura... it is not your fault... it is no one's," a voice came.

"Syaoran?"

"No, it is not Syaoran. It is I, Eriol."

"Eriol? But... how did... why?"

"You have too many questions and so little time. The fate of the cards will soon seal your destinies," Eriol said.


	15. Chapter 15: Prayers

**Always With You**

**By Riyukku Sayuri**

**Rating:** PG-13

**Author's Note:** Okay, this is the first time I'm doing the whole "title, by who, rating, author's note" thing. I forgot to do that in the previous chapters, but anyways, yes, Eriol takes part in the sealing of their fates, since you obviously know that he _is_ the reincarnation of Clow Reed. Anyway, enjoy! Please read and review! Domo arigato!

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Prayers**

Burning tears welled up in Sakura's eyes as she dreamt of Syaoran's death. She imagined his funeral – sad, depressing, suicidal.

"Syaoran, believe in the power of love, don't let go," Sakura pleaded, holding his hand in her sweaty palms.

"Ah, Sakura-chan, do not fear, the cards will do what they must," Eriol said in a soothing tone.

"Away from me! How can you try to soothe me when my love is dying at this hospital instead of old age with a beloved wife and family?!" Sakura screamed, tears streaming down her face.

_She's a hasty one to figure out things..._Eriol's mind ranted.

She placed Syaoran's hand to her tender cheeks as if he were awake to caress their softness and gaze into Sakura's emerald eyes. Would he wake himself or would he die in his sleep? Sakura couldn't tell and her heart raced sadly.

_Oh Clow Reed, I have offended you, haven't I? Are you causing this suffering of our love because we were never meant to be? Because it is against your rule to love like this?_

Sakura prayed that question to her master, to Clow Reed – Eriol. She longed for an answer, she hoped with all her heart that Syaoran would live. She dreaded seeing him in his crippled state where he could barely open his eyes to see those lovely emerald eyes he so loved.

_Sakura... Sakura... the cards... the cards will seal your fates... be patient young one... be patient and learn in love..._ Eriol replied, whispering it from the open window as the rustle of the gentle wind.

_Cards... the cards... this is the prayer Clow Reed has answered..._Sakura thought.


	16. Chapter 16: Love of Sadness

**Always With You**

**By Riyukku Sayuri**

**Rating:** PG-13

**Genre:** Cardcaptor Sakura

**Author's Note:** Read and review. I know it's been awhile since I updated, but here ya go! Please read and review! Thanks!

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Love of Sadness**

Sakura stared into the wide, blank space of the tiny room. Syaoran slept peacefully in the stretcher bed, not a snore escaping his lips. She longed to kiss him, longed to hold him, longed to embrace him, yet she knew she couldn't; couldn't cause more pain for him.

"Syaoran-kun, please stay alive. Please be with me. You've kept me alive so far, if you've died... I would have killed myself long ago. Oh Syaoran, you can't leave me," Sakura said grimly, tears flooding her eyes.

Syaoran could not hear the sweet, tender words Sakura spoke to him, but Eriol did. He heard it all, could feel the pain Sakura suffered.

_You feel the pain I have felt when my mistress passed on... I do not wish to pain you, Sakura-chan. Please hang in there to show the Cards you truly are strong,_ he thought, looking sadly at the fading couple.

She kissed Syaoran lightly on his forehead; tears fighting to break free. She sniffled, her eyes beginning to let loose the tears fighting from their prison.

"Sakura, go get something to eat. I'll stay here with Syaoran," a soft, weary voice.

Sakura spun around to see Yelan shuffling slowly towards her. Her eyes landed on her dying son – her only son. She shuffled closer, her eyes bloodshot and red. She had been crying. Was there some news that was unheard?

"Iie. I want to stay here, with Syaoran," she replied.

"Sakura, this is no time to be fighting. For Syaoran's sake. Please, go," Yelan said wearily.

"I said iie. Did I make myself clear? Syaoran is just as much mine as he is yours," Sakura said defensively.

"Is he your son that is slowly dying away?! I don't think so!" Yelan shouted.

"Are you the one he so loves?!" Sakura screamed, running off in tears.

She couldn't bear it anymore. She was being hurt because of the incident caused by the Clow Cards. She hated them. It was their fault that Syaoran was hurt and unable to be healed. It was their fault that this misery had come upon them. Would it help if she destroyed the cards? Would that heal Syaoran? What if... what if she tried it and... he would die? She couldn't risk it – Syaoran's life was on the line.

"Meiling-chan, Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura wailed, throwing herself into Touya's arms.

"Sakura?" he gasped in disbelief.

Her strength was drained after calling for Meiling and Tomoyo. She needed something to eat; she needed food for strength and love for power.

"Sakura," he whispered, lifting Sakura into his arms.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Syaoran!" Sakura shouted, running into his arms.

Sakura saw Syaoran, holding her in his arms. She looked around them and saw a blanket of white and pink.

White snow covered the delicate world around them and pink cherry blossoms surrounded the blanket of white. She stared in awe and looked up at Syaoran.

His eyes were as glossy amber as ever. They were warm like a kindling flame and showed love and affection for her. More love and affection that she had ever felt. Had he recovered while she stayed unconscious?

"Syaoran-kun, is that... you?" Sakura asked blankly.

"Hai," he replied, carrying her to a beautiful snow white carriage.

"W-What is that?" she questioned, her eyes daydreaming dazedly.

"It is a carriage that'll bring you back home," he replied honestly, staring down into two emerald eyes.

"Will you be there too?" she dared to ask.

"Gomen, Sakura... but... no," he replied sadly.

"Why not?" Sakura pressed on.

"I must go back... to where I belong," he said absentmindedly.

"Belong? You belong with me!" she squealed delightfully.

"Iie. I belong in... the underworld – the afterlife," he said grimly.

"The... underworld? Afterlife? You... you're... de... dead?" she gasped.

"Iie. I... I'm dying. Once my life is over, do not mourn for me but praise it. Praise it because I will be in a better place and I will be with you always – no matter what. I am always with you, Sakura. Even if I pass on, you will be with me during your afterlife and we will marry there and be happy forever. You may not give birth, but we will always be together. When you hear the wind blow; that is my whisper. When you feel the cool rain upon you; those are my kisses. When you feel the wind blow and a petal flies toward you; that is my whisper and my kiss – to you. Only you will receive them – I promise. Although death will sweep upon me soon, you will be my only thought. I am _always_ with you..." he said, kissing her forehead.

Sakura's only thought was of Syaoran's death. _I am always with you..._ the words he spoke that rumbled in her heart, in her mind, in her soul. _I am always with you..._

"Syaoran," she began. "What if... what if I cry for you?"

"Sakura, it would pain me to hear your tears of sadness. I can't bear it. Please don't unless they are those of joy," he replied.

"Syaoran, what if I was crying right now – through joy?" she questioned, trying to stop the tears threatening to break free.

"I would gladly accept them," he replied.

She began to cry of happiness and a bit of sadness as she wiped her face on the silk blouse he was wearing. He didn't seem to mind and set her into the carriage, letting her ride off into the white snowy world.

------------------------------------------------------

_I am always with you..._ his voice whispered in her heart.

Sakura woke to see the sun shining and birds singing. She could feel the wind blowing gently on her cheeks and a small, pink petal came gliding down and landed in the palm of her hand.

Syaoran! Was he dead? He had said, "When you feel the wind blow and petal flies toward you; that is my whisper and my kiss."

_Syaoran – that was no dream! I gotta get out of this room! At least I'm in my normal clothes!_ Sakura gasped, racing out of the door.

She had slipped on her shoes and raced out the door. She couldn't stand the fact knowing that either Syaoran was dying or already dead. She couldn't help but wonder if that was just his spirit entering her dream.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh my Xiolang. My poor, poor Xiolang," Sakura heard Yelan sob.

_Syaoran! Xiolang is what Yelan calls Syaoran sometimes! This can't be happening – it just can't be!_ Sakura's mind thundered.

She stepped in to see a small crowd covering the little stretcher bed she had seen Syaoran in the day before. As she neared it, fear crashed in her heart – could she really accept this fate? Could she?

"Sa-Sakura," she heard a small mumble.

She saw it was the weak voice of Syaoran – once so strong and mighty, now weak and fragile. She saw a faint bit of chestnut hair peeking from a gap in the crowd. She had to get closer – before anything happened.

"S... Syaoran," she gasped, breathing sharp intakes of air.

"Sakura," he mumbled softly. She kneeled down close to him.

Everyone in the room left, seeing that the young couple needed privacy. It gave Sakura more comfort and a bit of hope left.

"Sakura," he began. "When you hear the wind blow; that is my whisper. When you feel cool rain upon you; those are my kisses. When you feel the wind blow and a petal flies toward you; that is my whisper and my kiss."

"Syaoran," Sakura sniffled, trying hard not to let the tears flow. "If you ever see the birds sing and the flowers bloom; that is me, telling you I miss you and I love you."

"I know," he said softly, kissing her gently on her forehead. "My time here draws near, and so we must part in this life. But after, we will be with each other forever. Nothing will separate us then. We will always be together. The life after this life will be perfect – you and I will be happy forever. I do not want to mourn over my earthy life because thinking of you and of our life later on will be most appreciative. It would bring our souls back together even though they will forever be joined."

"Oh Syaoran," she sniffled, rubbing her face into his chest.

He stroked her soft, auburn locks and wondered to himself if the afterlife was truly going to be pleasant. Would they really rejoin together as one? Of course – they would not be separated like a foolish earthy life like this – even if their love was created of sadness, their love would endure all pains and finally be rewarded with joy.

"Go now. My body tells me we'll have a month together before I pass on – enough time to arrange my funeral and enough time to spend with you," he said softly, kissing the fine hairs on her head.

"Come tomorrow?" she questioned, her faith in Syaoran's gut.

"Hai. Please," he replied.

"I... I love you," she muttered softly.

"And I will love you always," he replied, kissing her lips with tenderness and love.

"Ja ne," she said soberly.

"Ja ne. I am always with you, Sakura. Always with you..." he said, freeing her hand from his weak one.

_Please always be with me, Syaoran. You do not know how much I need you – how much I need your strength to survive in this crude, earthly world._ Sakura sighed sadly, walking out of the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: Yeah, sad chapter... I know! Don't flame! (Especially you Christina! I know how you wanted it to be happy!) Please don't flame! Read and review! Thanks!


	17. Chapter 17: Goodbye Love

**Always With You**

**By Riyukku Sayuri**

**Rating:** PG-13

**Genre:** Cardcaptor Sakura: Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer:** I, in no way, own or am affiliated with Cardcaptor Sakura or any of its characters. However, all of the OC characters belong to me. I have created them and so therefore belong to me. Thank you. Now, let's hope there are no misunderstandings.

**Reference:  
**Konnichiwa: Hello  
Ja ne: Goodbye (informal)  
Sayonara: Goodbye (formal)  
Ohayo: Good morning  
Arigato: Thank you  
Domo arigato: Thank you very much  
Gomen: I'm sorry  
Gomen nasai: I'm very sorry  
Kawaii: Cute  
Kaijuu: Monster  
Gaki: Brat  
Baka: Idiot/Fool  
Otou-san: Father  
Oka-san: Mother  
Hai: Yes  
Iie: No  
Nani: What  
-...-...-...-: Scene change  
.---.---.---.: Flashback or memory

**Author's Note:** Read and review. Arigato. **ALERT:** There may be some typos. XD Hah, that's all I wanted to alert you. XP

**Chapter Seventeen  
****Goodbye Love**

Syaoran's eyes were droopy and dreary. His breaths were short and rash. Sakura feared this was their final kiss.

"Ja ne, Syaoran-kun. Ja ne my dearest love," Sakura whispered quietly. She bent over and kissed his lips ever so gently as he weakly kissed back.

"I'll be your guardian angel and watch over you from above. I'll always be with you, Sakura-chan. I love you too much to let you go without saying this: Even if you find a new love, you will always be my true love. I am always with you. Always with you…" Syaoran whispered softly.

His voice trailed off and Sakura replied, "I love you" before their final minute.

Syaoran gave her a smile as his love to her and she gave a tender smile back, kissing his lips gently again.

This was their final moment – everyone knew that. Syaoran… was on his deathbed with his love who was suffering from this. He knew it would be better if he would live, but… he could no longer force his body to live. The cards could do nothing and Clow Reed had left them hanging on a thin thread of life.

Syaoran finally closed his eyes and his hard breathing had stopped. Syaoran Li was… gone.

The tears came. "Syaoran!! Don't leave me! I didn't want to take this matter so seriously, but I did! I hoped you were only kidding, but you weren't! I'm so sorry, Syaoran! I never meant to let you die this way! Oh Syaoran, come back to me!" Sakura screamed painfully.

Crystal tears fell from Sakura's face and landed on Syaoran's face. His face still held that peachy glow he always had, but Sakura knew soon enough it would disappear and he would become a frail corpse meant for burial or for burning.

"Sakura! Sakura!" the family shouted. They rushed into the room where Sakura lay crying on Syaoran's dead body.

They gasped when they saw Syaoran's immobile body. It looked frail from a distance and up close; Syaoran had really left.

"Oh my baby boy! My Xiolang!" Yelan cried. Her son had died. She had to phone her daughters… they would be shocked with the news, but they had to be respectful of their brother's honor… his pride, his joy, his reputation, and his… his Sakura.

-...-...-...-

"Konnichiwa?" came Fuutie's voice. Yelan sniffled a great deal before replying to her daughter.

"Fuutie, p-please tell your sisters that… you all must buy plane tickets to T-Tomoeda today. Hurry. There is not much time. Sayonara, Fuutie," Yelan sniffled.

She just couldn't tell her daughters that their only little brothers were dead. They needed to see their brother's face while it was still glowing before the burial; the funeral.

-...-...-...-

"Yelan, have you decided on a place to bury Syaoran?" Sonomi and Fujitaka asked Yelan. Yelan had just come back from calling her daughters in Hong Kong. By the look of her face, the two knew that Yelan didn't have enough heart to rashly spill the truth to her four daughters.

"I know Fuutie will be the strongest, Shiefa may be a little wobbly, Fanren might cast herself into treacherous solitude and to dare not to love another man, and Feimei… well Feimei might… might blame me for this. For Syaoran's death," Yelan whispered sadly. Her daughters… all four facing a terrible truth that they were being kept from.

"Yelan, your daughters are strong ones. They won't blame you, but comfort you. Don't worry yourself too much. Syaoran has gone to a better place – we all know that," Sonomi said soothingly.

"Y-You're right. Plus we need to think of where to bury Syaoran. Might as well bury him beside his father… it's probably what he wants," Yelan sighed sadly.

She had never imagined her son dying at such a young age. If she had known, she would've made arrangements for his funeral, his burial place, how to tell her daughters and the members of the Li clan, and everything else that was now vitally damaged.

"N-No!" Sakura shouted.

All three heads turned to her as Sakura's droopy emerald eyes filled with sorrowful crystal tears.

"P-Please bury S-Syaoran by m-my cherry tree. P-Please. I p-promise you that Syaoran w-will b-b-e s-safe forever, Yelan-san," Sakura stammered.

Yelan's eyes softened. She shouldn't be selfish to bury her son with her husband – she already had one. Yet this girl, Syaoran's love, dared to plead for him. She had met another human who loved her son with such an intense care that all that human wanted was to know that her love was by her side as she lived her life.

"Sakura, do you really think that… you could live with the pain of knowing that someone you love lays by your side yet you cannot see them or touch them or have them say 'I love you' back to you? Do you really think you could live with that pain? That angst? That sorrow? Just give him to me already. I've already lived with the hurt of one; I can bear with two," Yelan hissed coldly.

Although Yelan's words were tough and cold, the interior of them were warm and heartfelt. It was merely a test to see if Sakura loved Syaoran enough that she would even give her life up for him.

Sakura's eyes hardened. What kind of madwoman would take away the love of her life? She straightened herself up and prepared her words carefully in the depths of her mind.

"Yelan-san, although it is against the golden rule, I must speak back. Not just for me, but for Syaoran. I love Syaoran too much to let someone like you have him. In fact, anyone who wants to bury Syaoran by them, well, I just cannot allow it. Either you give me Syaoran for the rest of my earthly life or I'll kill myself just to be with him," Sakura said firmly.

"Sakura, you don't know what you're talking about! Hush now!" Fujitaka threatened. But Sakura paid no attention. Her icy green eyes pierced Yelan's heart.

_This is a girl worthy for Syaoran… not like those sluts that wanted Syaoran for his money. Sakura truly does love him… why did I ever doubt?_ Yelan thought.

"Sakura, you have passed the test. You deserve Syaoran and I cannot find a more suitable woman for my son," Yelan declared happily.

Sakura's eyes sparkled. Her love would soon be by her everyday. There would never be a day when Sakura would not visit Syaoran's grave to say "I love you" to him. Sakura now promised him that. She would never love another man – never.

"Arigato Yelan-san. Arigato," Sakura replied modestly. Truly, this was the best day so far…after the days when Syaoran was healthy and strong.

-...-...-...-

Sakura's heart fell. It had been on the tenth of December that Syaoran had passed on and now, on the seventeenth, Syaoran's funeral was ready and prepared. Today was the ceremony; Syaoran's ceremony.

"My sweet darling, you will finally be by my side, and when I pass away, I will have Touya get me buried by you. I will have no offspring and I will not love another outsider. You are all I need, my dear Syaoran. You are all I need…" Sakura murmured quietly before exiting her room.

She was in a white and pink gown for her proper attire. She decided not to wear the traditional colors but something she loved to wear; for Syaoran's enjoyment.

She could feel Syaoran whisper 'I love you' to her every time the wind engulfed her in a whirlwind of its breezes. She could feel Syaoran's kisses every time she walked in the rain. When flower petals engulfed her in a twirl of love and hope, she could feel all that Syaoran had promised her.

"I hope I've pleased you this day, Syaoran. I miss you so much, but I know you're so close," she whispered softly to the outside air.

"Sakura! What the hell are you wearing?! You couldn't possibly be wearing _that_ for Syaoran's funeral! It's so disrespectful!" Fuutie gasped.

"No Fuutie-san, this is what _Syaoran_ wants me to wear. He wants us to be happy, not sad. He promised me that he would tell me what he wanted. Tell me what he wants for the better of us all. He wants us to be happy, Fuutie-san. We should be happy. Not for us, but for Syaoran's own wishes for us. He promised me that he'll watch over me, and I trust him. I trust him and even if you do not, you cannot stop me from living the life he wants us to live," Sakura replied.

"Humph, fine! Do as you wish, but if Syaoran's soul comes to me with disappointment, consider your head off!" Fuutie humped.

She walked away in search for Yelan to tell her of the disgrace Sakura was about to bring upon Syaoran and the whole Li clan as well as the Kinomotos.

_Syaoran, please, let me now be your angel to guide them to your wants; for them to be happy for you,_ Sakura thought.

_Clow Reed, I finally accept this fate. My fate; Syaoran's fate. Although our spirits are separated, our love is kindled by faith and hope. But I only wish you didn't cast such angst and sorrow upon us… upon our families, but now, now I am Syaoran's fulfiller. I am his successor. I will prove to them that this is what Syaoran truly wants; I know what he wants. He wants us all to be happy, I know that for sure. Clow Reed, I beg you, do not take another life as you have already,_ Sakura prayed feverishly.

She walked over to her tree; the tree that Syaoran was to be buried beside. She whispered to the tree, to the air, to the world around her, "Let this be my darling's rest bed. Let him rest here beside me. The cherry blossoms on this tree represents me and my dear's coffin will be his soul; his spirit clashing with mine in an entanglement of love. This is our bondage and although separated, no one can pry the love we have built apart."

-...-...-...-

After the funeral, Sakura took one last look at Syaoran. Tears threatened her eyes and the wind was soon upon her whispering, "Do not cry, my Sakura."

"I love you Syaoran. Goodbye love, goodbye," she whispered, placing a gentle kiss on Syaoran's forehead. Then she let her father and Touya close the coffin and lower it into the large hole beside the cherry tree.

_Goodbye love,_ Sakura thought. Her eyes drifted to the dancing flower petals wrapping her in a petal breeze.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: T-T -sniffles- Sad! I know! But c'mon, I can't give away good twists and cliffs. Thanks for your review guys and please don't kill me, Christina! ;P Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It took me practically _forever_ to think up the "dramatic" points – if you can spot any. Probably my best chappie yet.:D Read and review!! Arigato!


	18. Chapter 18: The Return

Always With You

**Always With You**

**By Riyukku Sayuri**

**Rating:** PG-13

**Genre:** Cardcaptor Sakura: Romance/Drama

**Disclaimer:** I, in no way, own or am affiliated with Cardcaptor Sakura or any of its characters. However, all of the OC characters belong to me. I have created them and so therefore belong to me. Thank you. Now, let's hope there are no misunderstandings.

**Reference:**

Konnichiwa: Hello

Ja ne: Goodbye (informal)

Sayonara: Goodbye (formal)

Ohayo: Good morning

Arigato: Thank you

Domo arigato: Thank you very much

Gomen: I'm sorry

Gomen nasai: I'm very sorry

Kawaii: Cute

Kaijuu: Monster

Gaki: Brat

Baka: Idiot/Fool

Otou-san: Father

Oka-san: Mother

Hai: Yes

Iie: No

Nani: What

-…-…-…-: Scene change

.--.--.--.: Flashback or memory

**Author's Note:** Read and review. Arigato. **ALERT:** There may be some typos. XD Hah, that's all I wanted to alert you. XP I mean… just in case, you know?

**Chapter Eighteen**

**The Return**

Although Syaoran had left so abruptly and sadly, Sakura still stayed strong – at least on the outside. Fuutie Li made it very clear that she hated Sakura. Why? Because of Sakura's strange cheerfulness at Syaoran's funeral and for having him buried at her residence instead of having Syaoran buried beside his father.

"Fuutie, please, be gentle, she's gone through a lot of misery in her life and what if she's right? What if Syaoran _does_ want us to be happy?" Shiefa said softly to her sister.

"So you think that Sakura bitch deserves him, do you? I thought you were with me, Shiefa! Syaoran will never be happy living in that hellhole himself! It was her fault for him dying anyway. He was going to see her, wasn't he?! Then it happened – the treacherous thing happened which caused our little Syaoran to die! Then what's worse is that she was even able to convince Oka-san to _allow_ the burial of Syaoran at her _own_ residence! What about Otou-san? Shouldn't Syaoran be buried _by_ his father? What kind of a bitch would do that?! I bet you she just wants his inheritance!" Fuutie sneered.

"Please Fuutie, don't do this. Sakura's a good person. That was why Syaoran loved her in the first place. You cannot hold a grudge against her forever, you know. You will fail once you open up to her and learn who she really is. I must agree that at first I was angry with her too, but after seeing how they made each other happy and all of their wonderful moments together, don't you think she deserves it? Don't you think _they_ deserve it? What about Otou-san? Remember? He was to be buried at his father's own estate, but Oka-san wouldn't allow it. We can't cling onto Syaoran forever – he's not ours to keep. He is now Sakura's and will remain hers. They're just meant to be, Fuutie. We cannot change that fate. Sakura may be the best for him… maybe she has always been," Shiefa whispered softly to her sister.

Fuutie turned away from her sister and gulped down the rest of her tea and chomped the last of a little teacake. She then wiped her mouth with a handkerchief ever so properly, got up, and left Shiefa to sit in the living room alone.

-…-…-…-

"What makes her deserve Syaoran? She's nothing but a wannabe rich girl. She believes in nonsense and crappy shit. That's what she believes in! And Shiefa. She's brainwashing Shiefa with all of that shit. How can Syaoran be happy? For God's sake, he's dead!" Fuutie grumbled aloud to herself.

She entered her lavender room and saw a bottle of sake. She knew it wasn't hers, but it couldn't be her mother's either. Yelan didn't drink except for a few Japanese wines on special occasions such as weddings or birthday parties.

_What the heck? Sake in my room? Is someone trying to frame me?_ Fuutie thought wonderingly as she approached the bottle. _Maybe it's full of poison that Sakura decided to fill it with. How did this get into my room anyway?_

It was then that she heard her brother's voice. "Fuutie…" came the silent hum. It echoed throughout her room, sending a chill down her spine.

Could the sake bottle be this person's? The person who was speaking with her right now? Who was there? It must've been one of the neighborhood children that climbed into her room again to play tricks on her. But even with that fact, Fuutie still felt cold and scared; this was her _brother's_ voice, not one of the neighborhood kids'.

"Who's there?" Fuutie shouted. She tried to seem strong and calm, but inside her heart was panicking and she feared the worst.

"Syaoran…" the voice answered back. It's low and silent hum was beginning to form into his voice and Fuutie could hear him clearly now.

"Syaoran? Syaoran?! Syaoran's dead!" Fuutie snapped. She tried to laugh but it came out squeaky and quiet.

"I am dead, but I can still talk to you. The Sakura Cards and my own have enabled me immortality within the mortal world… well, actually, just the ability to talk to mortals," Syaoran replied. He laughed his soft, cute laugh that Fuutie had heard for so many years.

"Syaoran, what are you doing talking to _me_? I mean, why are you here?" Fuutie gasped.

"Well… I'm not an idiot, Fuutie. I know what you're saying even though Sakura doesn't. Did you really think I'd reincarnate as something far away from here? Because I'm not reincarnating," Syaoran moaned.

"B-but, you couldn't have… wait, what?! N-no, I didn't I-I can't, y-you couldn't have!" Fuutie mumbled as she panicked.

"I heard it all… and your recent conversation with Shiefa. Plus that sake bottle was not planted by Sakura, it was planted by _me_," Syaoran replied, "It's my sake and I was bringing it to celebrate this new discovery of mine, but I suppose you can spread the word to all that I have learned immortality within the mortal realm."

Then Fuutie turned to face her mirror and saw a faded image of Syaoran standing beside her with his hand on her left shoulder. He then leaned over to her ear in the mirror and his mouth began to move.

"See? I'm real; I'm here," he murmured softly to his older sister.

"S-Syaoran, you're… h-here?" she gasped.

Syaoran turned away from her and walked around in the room. She turned to look, but all she could see was blankness. There was no Syaoran, but she could see him in the mirror. Why? It was strange, so she followed his movements with her gigantic mirror.

She then realized why Syaoran was only visible when seen in her mirror. He was using magic to communicate with her. She had just realized it when she saw a pale, sparkly, green aurora surrounding him.

"Syaoran… why are you here? Your magic, obviously, ebbs my room," Fuutie questioned. She did not know that she had just recently asked that question.

Syaoran only rolled his eyes. _How stupid has she become after I left this dominating world?_ He thought to himself.

It was supposed to be funny, but in a way, thinking of the world made his thoughts shift to Sakura. Sakura, not any Sakura, but _his_ Sakura. The Sakura that lifted his spirits and healed his soul. He had missed her terribly after his death. He grieved the soft touch of her lips, the sweetness of her laugh, and the gentle whisper of her voice. How he longed to hold her in his arms again, but he knew it would never be; there would not be enough magic for even one embrace. Sadly he knew he had to live with it – he had savored the wonderful moments before, so he knew he could live through the pain and agony of a "no-last-embrace" feeling.

"Syaoran? Stop drifting off," Fuutie snapped.

"Huh? Weren't you repeating yourself about my being here or something?" Syaoran sighed. He let out a yawn as if Fuutie's words had suddenly become boring and meant nothing to him.

"Hey! I did not repeat myself! You little baka!" Fuutie scoffed. She suddenly felt an urge to strangle her deceased brother.

"Whatever. Where's Sakura? I want to see her," Syaoran suddenly demanded.

This surprised Fuutie. Syaoran had never really rejected her in means of disrespectfulness. But now, now he really did – it was obvious he meant to irritate and antagonize her, but now also to deject her.

"Why should I tell you? Why should I even have any business with your little friend? She is of no worth to me – I am not her mother or related to her in any way," Fuutie snickered.

This was Syaoran's payback. He disrespected her, she disrespected him. She found it very irritating to be disrespected by her brother. She didn't know why it was so difficult to soak up this truth, but it was. Now it made her wonder how she could stand between her brother and the girl he so loved. It didn't matter now, she had said what she said and she couldn't take her words back.

"Tell me, Fuutie, or I'll ask Shiefa," Syaoran threatened.

"Go ask her then. I don't care."

"What's become of you, Fuutie? You've become a heartless soul."

With those final words, Syaoran disappeared from his room and left Fuutie blank and filled with misery.

She broke down onto her soft lavender bed and began to weep. Weep for the past, present, and future. She wept for the past for how she had rejected Sakura. She wept for the present for what she had just done; rejecting Syaoran. Now she wept for the future; rejecting herself and all else.

"Things have never changed and they never will; not for me. These scars will stay forever, they will never be healed, only revealed," Fuutie wept.

She had always instigated Sakura what made her think she deserved Syaoran's love and the Li Clan's approval. She always had an honest and bold answer and was not fearful of Fuutie's hurtful remarks and comments.

-…-…-…-

The emptiness Sakura felt was cold and resentful. She still missed Syaoran and Fuutie's rude comments only made it worse. She still tried to stay happy and cheerful because she was sure that that was what Syaoran would want for her, but it was difficult. She did not wish for sympathy, but at least a trickle of kindness now and then. That was something that Fuutie willfully forced herself not to give. Instead all that came out of her mouth was bitterness.

Sakura made herself comfortable under the large cherry tree she was leaning against. It was the one that bore Syaoran's casket since his funeral. Sakura sighed heavily; the many months that had passed as she was alone were dreadful and difficult. The aloneness that she felt may be nothing compared to Fuutie's, and she knew how brutal Syaoran's death was. How he left, his last goodbyes, everything. Losing her brother, sadly, would not be anything compared to what was going on now. Touya was not the love of her life, however Syaoran was. Remorse dug deep into her heart and she felt stupid and wanted to just scream saying that it was all her fault. Maybe Syaoran would have lived had she been there with him.

"Is it finally over?" Sakura breathed to the lonely atmosphere. "Clow, is it finally over? Is the death of my beloved enough? What more is it you want from me? Have I finally passed this blasphemy? Who else shall die by your will? Clow, answer me! You have succeeded in my misery! What else do you want? What more is it you wish for?"

Her silent cries shamed Clow Reed and he could only shake his head. This girl, his successor, was willing to give up the Cards for Syaoran. Nobody had ever given up the Cards for anything else. This girl passed the test, unlike him and all of the other fools.

"Is it over?!" Sakura shouted to the silence.

The tears were unstoppable now. She cried rivers and buried her face into the soft ground. The ticklish moss dried her tears a soaked them up like a sponge. Hiccups came and went and her sopping tears ruined her perfectly glossy auburn hair.

"Why are such beautiful emerald eyes crying such mournful tears? You know, I have a sweet lover that looks just like you with the beautiful emerald eyes and all, yet I know her to be happy. Her name is Sakura and she's a wonderful child," a familiar voice cooed gently.

Sakura turned to see a faded image of Syaoran. Her tears quickly stopped as she stared in awe. She was so surprised that she saw the image of Syaoran that she didn't even notice the green aurora surrounding him as signs of magic.

"Syaoran, is that really you?" Sakura gasped. She got up on her feet and stood shakily. Her knees were knocking together because of her nervousness and she kept a hand on the trunk of the tree as her support.

"Yes, Sakura. How long I've waited to reunite with you… I've finally come back, Sakura. Finally. As human, no, but to be here with you, yes. I've tried to come back again as human, but that was just too difficult and the magic I possess is unstable," Syaoran replied. His amber eyes glistened and danced as he waited for his beloved's reaction.

"Syaoran… how long I've waited for this reunion as well. To even hear your voice again… oh Syaoran!" Sakura whimpered.

Her face fell to her hands as she wept overjoyed tears. She sobbed and shouted excited praises to Clow Reed. She was satisfied with Syaoran just being a mortal ghost; at least he was with her.

Syaoran sat beside her and gently placed his arm over her. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "Sakura, I love you."

That stopped all of her sobbing as she slowly looked up. The rims of her eyes were lined red and were puffy, her nose was bright pink and runny.

"I love you too," she sniffled quietly. Her emerald eyes glittered cheerfully despite of the redness of her eyes.

He longed to bring her in his arms and kiss her forehead as he did before, but he remembered that she would not feel a thing; for he was nothing more than a mortal ghost. It pained his heart and he muttered bitterly under his breath to Clow Reed that it was entirely unfair.

-…-…-…-

"Are you okay, Oka-san? You seem a bit paler than yesterday. Is something wrong?" Shiefa asked worriedly to her sick mother.

"I am fine, dear Shiefa, but where are your sisters? And Fuutie? She was supposed to meet with me today to appoint the successor of Syaoran's inheritance; for we no longer have a son to continue the Li Clan," Yelan sighed.

"Dear Oka-san, why not appoint Sakura? She was going to be Syaoran's bride anyway; she could help lead a new generation of our clan," Shiefa suggested.

"That would be a good idea, Shiefa, but the children Sakura will bear, if appointed, will have no connections to the Li Clan; all they will have is the _name_. The _bloodline _will not be in work in her children's bodies. Then all they will be are liars. They will be living a lie by taking on their mother's true love's last name and not carrying on their biological father's. Even if Sakura has intention to bring forth sons for the Li Clan, they will bear nothing more than name, and it would be shameful if that was what we have to turn to. It would be more honorable to die without a Li son than to have fakes carry on our name," Yelan explained gently.

"Well… why can't we, daughters, carry on the name?" Shiefa pressed. "We could simply keep our surname and have our children bear the same name as us."

"No! Promise me, Shiefa, that you will _never_ do that! It shames your spouse's clan and name. Clans that do that are disgraceful and are quickly disrespected after word is done spreading," Yelan hissed.

Shiefa's face turned deathly white. Never had her mother been so cruel when it came to family affairs, but that was before… when Syaoran was still _living_.

"Y-yes Oka-san," Shiefa muttered quietly.

"Only males are allowed to keep their surnames; the females _must_ change their own to their husbands' so that their husbands' own family legacy may continue to grow.

Shiefa bowed her head shamefully. She only wanted to suggest, not make a complete fool of herself.

But still, her mother was going through a hard time. With Syaoran gone and Sakura a lonely soul, Yelan could only grieve and mourn. Her mother had gone through so much these past few weeks. The least anybody could do was simply cherish her thoughts and ideas without 'ands,' 'ors,' or 'buts.'

-…-…-…-

"Syaoran, I've missed you so much. I thought you would never come back. Every day has been lingering on and on – nearly unstoppably. I couldn't bear it; the loneliness. I just needed you, and now I have you again," Sakura sobbed.

Syaoran could see in her eyes the grief and seclusion of many days and nights knowing that her lover would not return any time soon, but now he proved her wrong. He had returned to see her, to speak with her, and to be with her.

"Didn't I tell you that I'm always with you? You believed me, did you not? Especially on the day of my burial," Syaoran said softly.

Sakura nodded her head slowly as a child does after being punished to the point of endless tears. She held out her hand and motioned for Syaoran to place his ghostly hand upon hers. And so he did.

--

a/n: Did you like it? Did you? Hope you did! Wait up for the next chapter!


End file.
